My Inner Critter
by Gary Hibberd
How do you see your ‘writer’s block’? Is it a ‘thing’ that sits on your shoulder? An abstract emotion that prevents you from writing or a real entity that goads you and pokes fun at you when you’re sitting looking at an empty page?
Personally speaking my ‘writers block’ is a voice that mocks my writing, telling me that my story isn’t up to scratch and telling me that no matter what happens, even if I finish it, people won’t enjoy it and will laugh. I thought he wasn’t a very nice character until I started to talk to him (please don’t think I’ve gone mad here. Stick with me on this).
Sitting in the quiet of the night in front of a glowing white, empty screen, my writers-block asked me what I was doing.
“I need to write an essay for a new site I’ve just joined,” I told him rather curtly.
“You don’t have any ideas though,” he responded sadly. I shrugged and kept on looking at the screen hoping inspiration would rise out of the depths. But it didn’t.
“You’ve got nothing to say have you?” he added again mockingly.
“Can’t you just go away and let me write?!” My head was beginning to hurt and my heart was getting heavier by the second as I realised he was right and he’d beaten me again.
“You could always try again tomorrow. Turn off the screen and go do something else,” he added.
As I was about to turn off the computer something occurred to me that hadn’t occurred to me before; why was writers-block doing this? So I asked him.
“What is it that I can do to get shot of you?” I asked.
“Nothing. I’m part of you. You can’t just rid yourself of me. You’re stuck with me.” That wasn’t the response I was hoping for, but for the first time I suddenly realised that if writers-block is a part of me then I’m the one in control.
“I’m going to give you a name then. You’re ‘Critter,’ and from here on in I’m in control.” I could sense that Critter wasn’t happy about my response, but now I was on a roll.
“Why do you stop me from writing?” I asked pointedly.
“I don’t mean to,” came back the response. “It’s just that you’re thinking too hard and you’re going to make us look silly.”
“So does it matter if we end up looking silly? What’s your point?”
“I’m afraid that people won’t like our work and will just dismiss it out of hand.”
“So if people dismiss it out of hand does it matter?”
“No, I guess not.” Critter was starting to shake his head. I could sense it.
“I’m sorry Critter, but for me this is my passion, something I love to do. I’m at my most liberated state when I’m writing, and you’re stopping me from being happy.”
There was silence from Critter and I could tell he was thinking it over.
“But… But you’re not clever enough and don’t have a full story in your head. I know, because I’m in there.” I could tell he was grasping at straws now.
“You’re wrong Critter. You’re just standing in the way. I love you because you’re part of me, but for now I need you to step aside.” And with that Critter took a heavy sigh and stepped aside.
“So, what are you going to write about for your first article?” His voice seemed distant, plaintive, but I smiled.
“I’m going to write about you Critter.”
I told my girlfriend the next day about this conversation with Critter, and she laughed and promptly told me I may have gone a little crazy sitting in my darkened office staring at the screen! I agreed that she was probably right.
That evening after work she gave me a little gift, a small funny-looking ‘Troll’ doll, with a funny smile and pointed green hair. She’d made a little plaque for him to have round his neck, which read “Hi. I’m Critter.”
Critter now sits on my desk next to my computer. From now on whenever I’m starting to struggle with writing I’m going to put him, quite literally, in the drawer.
I think I’ve finally taken hold of my writer’s block and gotten some control back. Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure there’ll be days when he gets the better of me. But from this point on when I’m having a tough time of things I’m going to talk to Critter and ask him what stories he enjoys most, what things we’re most passionate about, or how he sees a story running or ending.
I really believe that each of us can take hold of our writer’s block and give it a little bit of a shake and learn to control it. After all, if you have an inner critique, then he (or she) is really just your inner Critter and is fully under your control. Put them in the drawer out of the way, where they belong.
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“There’s a book in all of us.” And Gary is no different. Although a virtual newcomer to writing professionally, Gary has such a passion and enthusiasm for life and writing that it eclipses his lack of professional exposure. Gary hopes to share his experiences in the development of this craft as well as share his views on what it means to be a ‘professional’ writer. Holding a diploma in Life Coaching, Gary brings to the table experiences from people who have lost their drive or direction in life and offers tips and tricks to get motivated, be positive, and achieve goals.
Gary is currently working on his first novel and researching a factual guide to the world of disasters!
