This Time, It’s Personal
by Kevin Kilgarriff
Should I or shouldn’t I? Would it be wrong for me to include this? Should I even write about this topic? As writers, we’ve all had to step into the ring with that fierce competitor known as “Your Inner Censor.” It creeps in when you least expect it and takes hold of what you had envisioned as the story to end all stories.
It’s completely natural to question whether or not you should include, or even write about, a given topic. There might be an ethical question that goes with covering it. Or it may just be a matter of whether or not you feel that your heart is up to the task.
I’ve recently reached a crossroads, of sorts, in my writing career. For the first time, there’s a part of my life that I’m not certain I want to put out there for public view.
For many writers, the act of writing is an outlet for them. It’s therapeutic to get things off their chest and put their feelings down on paper. For others, it’s only natural to share all of those feelings with the world. They have no boundaries. They have no secrets. Whatever they think and feel, their readers know about it.
I’ve, to some extent, included myself in that latter group. I enjoy sharing my opinions and feelings on things. Stream of consciousness is my favorite way to write. It’s writing in its purest form and, while it might not pay the bills, it’s what I enjoy most. It’s a great way to show what you feel.
I’ve at times mentioned serious life events in my articles or on my blog. I have a number of story/book ideas that include these events — two of the major ones being the loss of my Mother to cancer and my brother to suicide. I also have a two-year old daughter who was born eleven weeks early and spent seven weeks in the hospital — seven of the most frightening weeks of my life. These events were traumatizing and life-changing, and I feel compelled, if not obligated, to write about these and share them with the world.
Today though, when I look at these parts of my life, I see them with distant eyes. They’re in the past. The feelings may still be there, but they’re not fresh. To date, the only major life events that I have to share have already happened. They aren’t in progress and I have no problem sharing them with people, having already known the outcome and been pretty sure of my feelings surrounding them.
But now I’ve got something current, still progressing, I’m not sure that I’m ready to share. It’s made me realize that I may not be part of the aforementioned latter group. I may have boundaries, and possibly even secrets, that I’m not ready to share.
As I sit writing this article, my wife and I are waiting for a phone call from a doctor. It may or may not come. I hope it does, and I hope it comes soon. If it doesn’t then we’ve got to wait a week, for the scheduled appointment, to find out what our future holds. The doctor is in the possession of test results that could change our lives forever.
When I first was made aware of this situation, I wrote about it in my journal. I’m not an everyday journal writer, just when the feeling takes me. And this one took me. But as I read what I was writing, I realized that it wasn’t ready for public view. Not because it wasn’t polished or complete. Instead I had decided that this one was mine, and mine alone.
One day I’ll know the outcome of this time in our lives. The anguish we’re currently experiencing was hopefully unfounded, or perhaps not. Regardless, this portion of my life story will have been written and I think it’s safe to say that it will be shared.
One could argue that I’m sharing it now. That I’m giving just enough detail to get the therapeutic benefits without actually revealing what is weighing so heavily on my heart. And they’d be absolutely right. It’s the beauty of writing. It’s the beauty of words. It’s the beauty of what we do.
So as a writer, where do you fit in? Do you wear your heart on your sleeve, or do you keep it close to the vest? Wherever you may fall on the personal info spectrum, please don’t be too concerned. You are who you are. Share what you feel like sharing. Your life is yours and it’s your choice to decide how or if you’ll share it. It’s your right. And no person or profession can deny you that … even when you’re a writer.
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Kevin Kilgarriff is a writer and Recruitment Advertising Account Executive. He’s been writing forever (Yes, since the beginning of time!), but didn’t choose to share his work until mid-2004. A virtual novice in terms of writing professionally, his goal at Writers Remember is to share his experiences with other writers, and to hopefully help them through the trying times that a writer can encounter.
Recently Kevin started his own freelance writing business, Londontown Writing Services.
He blogs at Aspiring Adult and enjoys reading and writing in a variety of genres. His childish jokes are unrivaled and his vast collection of useless information, which he swears will one day be fully utilized, continues to grow exponentially.
Kevin lives in Warrington, PA, just outside of Philadelphia, with his wife and their 2-year old daughter.